Morning Rituals

There are certain things I must do in the morning before I can

get my day started. I must have my coffee; I must sit in my favorite

chair to drink my coffee. And I must win at least one game of Yahtzee

on my phone, or else I won’t feel like a winner throughout the day.

After I win my game, I check my emails, and my messages, see

what the forecast is for the day, and I always, always, always, check

my bank account. This is something I do every morning since the

day I checked my account and found out we were robbed.

It was about three years ago. I was getting ready for work and

right before I left the house, I did a quick glance at my bank account.

It was not part of my normal ritual at that time. Sometimes I would

go for a week without checking my account. But for some reason,

that morning, I checked it.

I have the bank app on my phone, and after punching in my log in,

my jaw dropped when I saw that there was an enormous amount of

money missing from our account. I went to the transactions to find

out what was going on and found purchase after purchase of something

called Only Fans.

I scrolled through endless amounts of purchases. I had never heard of this

before. I assumed someone had stolen my identity to buy ceiling

fans. I didn’t have time at that moment to research what those

transactions were so I figured as soon as I got to work, I would get to

the bottom of it.

I got to work, parked my car, and as I was heading into my

building, I ran into one of my younger, female co-workers. I told her

how I was robbed and that someone stole a mass amount of money

from my account. I told her the robber bought multiple purchases

from a place called fans only.

She burst out laughing and told me it wasn’t a place, it was a web site,

and it is called Only Fans and, basically, it is porn. Porn!!!!!!

I was flustered. I felt violated.

Someone is ordering porn and pretending to be me. I ran into the building, got

to my desk and called the 800 number on the back of my debit card.

After only, what seemed like an eternity on hold, a customer

representative was on the line. I explained the issue and assured her

that I did in no way shape or form, order porn with my debit card.

She looked up the transactions and asked if I wanted to dispute the

charges.

ABSOLUTELY! I told her.

Then she advised me that it wasn’t my card that the transactions were made,

it was my husband’s card.

She then asked, with a little snicker in her voice, “do you still want to

dispute these charges or do you need to talk with your husband

first?”.

Absurd! I informed her that my husband does not look at or

need porn and YES, I am still disputing the charges.

My husband’s debit card was deactivated, and they were sending a new card in the

mail. The representative also told me that I should have all my

money back in my account within the next week, maybe two.

After I finished that phone call, the nerve of that woman, I called my

husband. Knowing in the depths of my heart, without any doubt, my

husband would never, ever spend money on something so stupid, so

gross, so sacrilegious... but I had to ask him.

“Honey, did you order anything from Only Fans?”

I held my breath till he answered. And then he asked, “Do they sell ceiling fans?” and then I let out a sigh of relief. He had no idea what it was either. I told him his debit card was compromised and gave him a short version of what happened.

Since then, I have found out the true nature of Only Fans.

People are weird. And since then, I check my bank account every

morning, with my coffee, after I win a game of Yahtzee.

-Desiree