Friends Come and Go, Sisterhood Stays

In the summer of 1987, sixteen-year-old me was thrilled to secure a well-paying job babysitting a neighbor’s son. I had grand plans for those few months—I was finally ready to step out of my shell, make new friends, and venture beyond my usual routine.

Connecting with people was always an uphill battle. I was shy by nature and usually waited for someone else to break the ice, but that hardly ever happened. Lacking confidence, I stayed tucked inside my shell, wondering if I just missed the secret to making real friends.

However, I always had my sister. We did everything together. We shared our deepest, darkest secrets, our dreams and aspirations for the future, and our music. We were always "borrowing" our father’s records and blaming each other—oops, sorry Dad for the scratch on The White Album!

As much as I loved sharing my time with my sister, I felt ready to mature and move on. Even though we were only three years apart, I wanted my own friends. I wanted to be able to say, “I’m going out with my friends.” I was afraid to venture outside my comfort zone, but I wanted to explore the outside world. How was I going to do this?

One morning, one of the few friends I actually talked to called me. She was frantic and said, “There is a boy that I really like and he wants to hang out, but I need someone to come with me!”

You want me? I thought. Oh my god, this could be my chance!

Then she told me her crush was bringing along his friend. My heart started racing. Do I go or stay? As she continually begged me on the phone, I made a split-second decision. Sure, talking to boys intimidated me, but this was my moment. I could be like a normal teenager. I told her okay, and she said they would be there in five minutes.

Five minutes isn't much time when you're trying to pull off a transformation. I scrambled to change into my favorite Peppermint Patty shirt and shorts, teasing and spraying my hair into a cloud of Aqua Net, and hurriedly applying blue eyeshadow and mascara. Just as I put the mascara wand down, they pulled up.

After introductions, we decided to go bowling. Cruising down the highway, I observed the two guys in the front seat. Her crush was behind the wheel, and his friend in the passenger seat—a quirky guy who promptly took his shoes off and stuck his bare feet right out the open window! Gross, I thought, but I was too thrilled to mind. I was driving in a car with people my own age.

I had to head home early to babysit, feeling disappointed that my sudden burst of teenage life was being cut short. However, to my surprise, when I got inside, I was informed that the neighbor didn’t need me for hours. I immediately dialed my friend, luckily she lived on the next block and told her I was back in. They were going to come back to pick me up for mini-golf, and I couldn't stop smiling—I was actually doing it. 

Waiting for their return, my sister begged me to come along. Excited and focused on my own big moment, I told her no and ignored her. I ran out the door saying, “I’m going out with my friends!”

Right as I was about to climb into the car, my sister leaned halfway out our second-story window and screamed, 'I hate you, Jackie!' for the entire neighborhood—and my new friends—to hear.

I froze, completely embarrassed. Are my new friends going to leave without me? Right then, I heard my mother call me back into the house. I was told I had to bring her or I couldn’t go. 

Seriously? This was my own thing! Why do I have to bring her? So unfair!

Embarrassed and ready to cry, I went outside and explained my dilemma. They said it was fine and that she could come. She got in the car with a devilish grin, thoroughly satisfied that she got her way. 

Once we reached the mini-golf course, the embarrassment hit full force. She poked fun at me non-stop, turning what was supposed to be a fun outing with new friends into sheer torture. The climax of her antics came when she sent her golf ball flying clear over the wall into the parking lot. At that point, everyone agreed it was time to call it a day.

We stopped at 7-Eleven before heading home, and she spent the entire time asking ‘no shoe’ boy, on repeat, “Are you going to date my sister?”  I couldn't take it anymore. Convinced she had ruined my chance at making friends and that they would never contact me again, I just wanted to get home.

Well, the next day the phone rang, and it was for me. It was ‘no shoe’ boy asking if I wanted to hang out! I was in complete shock. I thought, even after yesterday's drama, this person still wants to hang out with me? I was so excited, and we agreed to meet up.

As it turned out, 'no shoe' boy became the love of my life. We’ve been married for 35 years now, and every once in a while when we’re all together, we still look back on that crazy day and laugh. 

A lot of time has gone by, and most of those old friendships just fizzled out. Every once in a while, I’ll snoop through Facebook to see where everyone ended up, but those temporary bonds are ancient history. My sister was the only constant. Despite her best efforts to embarrass me back then, she turned out to be the exact best friend I was looking for all along.

-Jackie